amy courts: en route

Not That It Would Have Changed a Thing
March 2, 2011, 10:39 am
Filed under: Baby, Faith and Faith Life, Home Life, Music, Uncategorized

Ok. I’m calling in the big guns.

I just read this thing, “25 Things I wish I knew before having kids” from another mom on babycenter. And none of it looks terribly crazy. It all looks/sounds eerily familiar.

And it’s freaking me out.

According to this list, beginning in late April, I’m not going to sleep at least three years. Actually, scratch that. If I’m anything like my own mom, I’m not going to sleep for 18 years. And if my kids are anything like me, during years 13-16, I’ll sleep less than I do during their first months of life. You know, when they don’t sleep through the night, so neither do I?

My marriage is being turned on its head. My husband, whom I love and cherish and treasure more than anyone else in this universe, and I are going to have to re-learn how to be married, this time with kids. Forget about baby proofing. That’s easy. What about intimacy? What about date nights? What about sitting up til all hours and just laughing? Will I ever be not-tired enough to enjoy any of that again? How am I going to continue being a wife when I become a mother?

I am about to completely lose my former self (if I haven’t lost her already) and become someone new. Namely, a mother. Everything about me is going to shift. It’s gonna have to shift, lest I raise a son who a) hates me, and b) will desperately need years and years of expensive therapy. This is difficult for me, because I’m selfish. And I like it.

Career? What career? I’m not good at multi-tasking, and having-a-baby seems, from everything I can tell thus far, like a pretty time-consuming affair. I don’t have the first clue what to do or think about that.

According to the list, shower time will be my favorite 5 minutes of the day. Because those minutes are all mine.

According to the list, I won’t have a clean house for a year…and I shouldn’t mind. Clearly, these people don’t know me at all, or anything about my obsessive compulsion for things to be presentably clean for company. Which leads me to the next realization…

We will not have company over for years. Because I, apparently, will not be cleaning for that long.

And we chose to cloth diaper. I am tempted to reconsider the dollars we’re saving, the landfills we’re saving, and all that other nonsense, and trade all those savings in for one other salvation of utmost importance: My sanity.

Maybe, with just eight more weeks to go, I should ask for a few more weeks of bed rest?


Baby E w/ 8 Weeks Left to Bake


5 Comments so far
Leave a comment

are you on bed rest? ugh. that does not sound like fun.

Anyway, Amy, you will be an awesome mom. I know it’s stressful to think of it actually happening especially when it is so close, but your baby is so blessed to have a mom that will be able to spend time with him instead of just having to drop him off in day care every day. And I’m sure you have lots of friends around who are willing to step in and help when you need, whether it is with chores or babysitting. I know I would if I were close (especially babysitting!)

Yeah, you’ll have to give a lot of yourself to the baby. But you will still be you.

You’ve really inspired me with the joy you’ve taken in this pregnancy. Most of the time when somebody’s pregnant, I only hear the negative stuff, and yes, I realize it’s hard. But isn’t it also such a wonderful blessing? Such an amazing miracle? It’s been really good for me to hear the way you’ve responded to pregnancy 🙂

Comment by Misty Fagan

Not on bed rest anymore, but I was for a week. Thinking about putting myself back on… ha! Anyway, thank you for your words!

Comment by amycourts

Oh honey, you’ll be fine! This is definitely the worst-case scenario. Now I won’t lie to you – that first 2-4 weeks you’ll be lucky to shower. After that you’ll get into your groove and figure out how to deal with life’s necessities as well as take care of your new, wonderful boy. =)

And yes – absolutely everything about your life will change. That’s one of the things I feared most, and it did happen. But your new life will be so wonderful that you’ll never regret bringing him into your world. You’ll just become way more creative about things.

You approach all of life’s challenges with a zest that most don’t possess, dear, and it will not surprise me when you become an *impeccable* mother.

I know I can’t tell you “don’t be afraid” because from here the anxiety only grows. Right now it’s “OMG everything will change and I can’t sleep!” but shortly it will be “OMG am I doing everything I possibly can to make sure this little one succeeds?!” But know that your fears are normal – and they’re a good sign. It’s good that you’re nervous. Just make all the butterflies fly in formation. ;o)

Comment by McApril

Hey, girl! I think so many of those websites ARE just scaring you with the extremes of parenting. Personally, it doesn’t have to be all that bad! For instance, babies usually start sleeping through the night way before a year old (mine did at least- all three by 2 mths, but some people say that’s impossible- well I don’t know, but it happened), also your house doesn’t start getting messy until they are old enough to actually make messes- like older than a year, and as long as you have a couple of people who can babysit you SHOULD be able to get date nights! We even do “in-dates” now that we are poor and have 3 kids. lol. We sometimes drop them off at the in-laws and go back home for a romantic dinner and whatever else we feel like. (he he). All you have to do is make the time- more scheduling than spontineity now- and it’ll work out! Having one child is a breeze (or so I thought after reading things like that article you quoted and hearing everyone’s words of doom) now 2 or 3 kids gets a little more involved. lol. But that’s the good thing about having them one at a time so you can get used to it a little at a time. =) You’ll do great! Once you meet him, all the sacrifice won’t seem hard at all. trust me!

Comment by Rachelle

I didn’t know you’re pregnant!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!

Yes, all of those things are true and sound terrible…but once you have that baby in your hands, terrible things aren’t so awful anymore 😉 Every day keeps getting better. Remember that on the difficult days.


Comment by Brooke Lackey

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