Another New Start

Another New Start

October 9, 2008, 5:10 pm
Filed under: Faith and Faith Life, Home Life, Music, Random

Welcome to my new blog, friends! I’ve had a good run over at myspace, but since everyone seems to be migrating away, I figured it was time to migrate to a central location accessible without your own profile and password.

So here we are.

I just returned from a weekend (plus) in Pennsylvania, playing shows at Burlap & Bean in Newtown Square and Alive ’08 at First Pres of Bethlehem.  Despite two long and exhausting days of flying there and back, it was a good time. I met some really fantastic people at both shows and was graciously welcomed by Amy Sondova into her home where she sacrificed her bedroom for me for the five night stay.

I went for a 5 mile run along a path so beautiful I was inclined to partitian a space of my own, build a hut, and live out the rest of my days along the river. This, while listening to the very best ladies (and a few males) music has to offer these days, including (but not limited to) Leigh Nash, Jonatha Brooke, Sandra McCracken, Brooke Fraser, The Dixie Chicks (yes, the Dixie Chicks), Ray Lamontagne (not a girl, but one of those aforementioned males), and David Gray (another male). Suffice it to say, that run was most enlightening.

I also enjoyed one of the best skinny vanilla latte’s I’ve had in a while and in one of the most definitively unique cups. So unique was this cup that I actually purchased it. Well, scratch that. There was no trading of cash-for-cup involved. It was, in fact, bartered for. So while I returned home with a hand spun and hand painted coffee cup, the folks at Burlap & Bean got two Amy Courts cds. Fair trade, I’d say.

What’s even better is the simple fact that all the coffee they sell and make is 100% organic, free trade. Starbucks who?

Saturday, I had a whopping load of fun at First Pres’s Alive ’08 and got to see a great band – SHIROCK – for the first time since meeting them nearly five years ago. And let me say, the wait was long but so satisfying was the sound!

What I didn’t mention was that, for a while there on Saturday, I was feeling a bit gloomy. It’s hard to give your all and wait for the response that doesn’t come. Maybe it was the venue? The setting – outdoors on a huge, meant-for-bands stage? Or the size of the crowd (or lack of). Either way, it was tempered by some really encouraging and spiritually engaging conversations with Catherine, le wife of the guy who booked me. As always, it was delightful to compare the marriage relationship to the God-human relationship. We both agreed that while we often long for the sweetness, the newness, the all-consuming mystery of a new relationship and the inevitable wonder at each new thing learned, we wouldn’t trade the depth and clarity the time-tested relationship affords. I left full of hope, reminded that many are the wonders God has stored for me and my husband in our work and daily lives. Many are the unknown and unaffected dreams He’s weaving right now. And many are the joys we’ll share as we explore and flesh them out together.

So Sunday was icing on a sweet cake for me. I was honored to sing “Find Me in the River” with Brently during the morning’s services and share a song of my own – “In You” – and was so overwhelmed with the response I felt affirmed for a month. Ha! But in all seriousness, there is something about leading worship that settles my spirit and calms every fear. Maybe it’s the fact of going from selling myself – and fearing the product isn’t worth the price – to simply proclaiming Christ and speaking His truth. When there is nothing and no one to sell, and when the glorified Being is so purely worthy, the anxiety spills out and gratefulness overflows.

Which leads me to…

I’m not sure it’s a calling or simply a confirmation of what I’ve always known to be true. But my passion and desire to escape from performance mode and spend my artist days leading worship is continually growing. And while I know that my originals are a source of strength and hope and comfort for many, the stress and draining nature of the work is often overpowering. It’s an escape, a respite, to lead believers in worship. Perhaps it’s an avenue to explore and develop more deliberately. I know the charge, the filling I receive from the Spirit while leading others to His throne is enough to energize me til the next go round. There’s life in worship, where all else is life-draining. It’s humbling and inspiring, even empowering, to fall so completely out of yourself in the effort to lift Him up.

So back here at home, I’m plunging head-first into booking the winter and spring tours, hoping and praying I’ll get some good opportunities to perform concerts and lead worship.

Til I see you on the road, stay tuned. More to come, surely.

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